Monday, August 20, 2012

Easier the 2nd Time

I bet I heard that a million times from people. "Oh...don't worry about taking Hannah to Kindergarten, she's the 2nd child.", "I am sure it's easier when you drop the 2nd one off at Kindergarten."

Today, I dropped my 2nd daughter off at Kindergarten. For the 2nd time, I drove to school talking about how exciting Kindergarten was going to be. Twice now, I have had to turn and walk away from that same school with my little 5-year old tearfully coloring at her desk.

I spent most of the day busy with work. But, my mind kept wandering back to those comments. How I should be "used" to all those "second-firsts". I should be a pro. I finally decided, all those people were wrong.

It was not easier today. I know she is safe and happy at her school. I knew she would get into my car with a huge grin, loving her day. But, it's just not easier for me.

It's not easier to watch your middle child look at your oldest with big fearful eyes for a simple smile of encouragement. It's not easier to be slapped in the face with the reality that my sweet babies are growing up much to quickly. It's not easier to wait patiently for that bell to ring and that smile to find your car in the pick up line.

Travis asked me this morning why I was crying. I believe his exact words were "Why are you crying? It's not a sad day. It's a happy day." (such a man!) I am not sure why I cry/tear up every single year on the first day of school. But, I do.

 And even though I will go through "second firsts" and, eventually "third firsts" with Catherine (be still my heart!)...

all of our firsts will be special little moments that remind me how fleeting each one is.

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