Exhibit A: Emma's "All About Me Poster",
Exhibit B: Hannah and Emma's fist fight in the front yard (which I obviously photographed as it was blog worthy!)
Exhibit C: Catherine's 1-month old fit (again...blog worthy, so I photographed it)
(You can click on the titles to read the stories...in case you have forgotten)
But, these are only a quick few reasons that I will not be making my acceptance speech. Let's be real people, I probably wouldn't even be invited to the ceremony!
So, to keep with the trend that "No-I-do-not-have-it-altogether-and-am-on-the-brink-of-insanity" and to make you other Mommies who read my blog feel like you are on Cloud 9 and could possibly win that award this year, I will tell you the latest OOPS that has resulted from the pure chaos that my house is on most days.
Travis and I have a deal. We have had this deal since Hannah was a baby. He cleans up the kitchen while I give the kids a bath. (And, before you go feeling all "poor Travis got the bad end of the deal", I let him choose and he chose dishes.) I always just throw them all in the tub together. They are all girls and it's just easier than giving 2-3 different baths.
Usually, it is chaos mixed with a little "Hannah, do NOT drink the bath water. Catherine probably peed in it!", "Emma, stop dumping cold water on your sister's head.", "Catherine Grace! SIT DOWN! NOW! SIT! TROUBLE! SIT!".
Yeah...it's a lot like that. But, it's my job and actually, it's usually pretty funny (and WAY better than cleaning up the kitchen...YUCK!).
So, last night was just like any normal night. I told the big girls to get undressed. I undressed Catherine and as I turned around to start the water, she made a break for it. I chased her down and finally got the other two corralled back in the bathroom, where I promptly shut the door to prevent any more streakers from escaping.
I put them in the tub and went down the line washing each child's hair and body. Then, it was back down the line rinsing everyone off. (Of course, I was still going through the same "Sit"s and "Stop-it"s as listed above). Finally, my job was done and the fun could begin. I let them play until it got so out of control that I looked like I had actually been in the tub with them.
One by one, I began getting the girls out, drying them off and sending them to get their PJ's on. Catherine was the last one out. As I was drying Hannah off, Catherine was standing up. I told her to sit down and of course, she promptly
Then, it happened. (which, in my house, it was bound to happen at some point!) Catherine slipped. It was all slow motion. I saw her falling and shoved Hannah out of the way in an attempt to catch her. But, I didn't get there quick enough. Catherine fell and slammed her face on the side of the bathtub.
She was screaming and Travis came running into the bathroom. He helped Hannah get up (from the spot where I had pushed her down. Sorry, Han!). I grabbed Catherine out of the tub and wrapped her in a towel. Then, I pulled the towel back from her face and saw it. A HUGE bruise, swollen eye and cheek bone that looked a little deformed.
Travis panicked. He is the panicker when the girls get hurt. I am usually mostly calm until after everyone is deemed "ok". (Then, I usually have a T-Total melt down with tears and words only a dog can hear) I remained as calm as possible and carried her to the kitchen to put an ice pack on it.
Yeah right! Like a screaming, hysterical 1-year old is going to sit still for an ice pack. I looked and Travis and looked at the clock. Urgent care was still open, but I had to hurry. I managed to get the hysterical, black-eyed child into her PJ's, while Travis packed a diaper bag and the other two stood in the living room mouths gaping open.
I took her to the Dr. As I was checking in, the nurse semi-corked out on me. She had another nurse come look to make sure we shouldn't go straight to the ER. After they decided we were ok to be seen at Urgent Care, they huddled with some other nurses, whispered and keep looking back at us. (Please keep in mind Catherine is bucking out of my arms and screaming at the top of her lungs while this was going on.) I thought "Great. They are going to call Child Services on us. I am sure there will be a home visit involved and I cannot remember the last time I cut the girls' fingernails and toenails."
So, I did what any good mother would do. I text Travis that they might be calling Child Services and could he please make sure the girls fingernails and toenails were cut.
Finally, we saw the nurse practitioner. Catherine was asleep at this point. We woke her up and Nurse Lucy checked her eyes and felt the giant lump that had formed on the side of her face. The conclusion was no broken bones or concussion. WHEW!
So, I packed up a grouchy Catherine, told them all thank you and headed home. I was glad to see my well-groomed eldest two were already in bed and Child Services had not stopped by the house.
So, all you Mommy's out there that are still in the running for "Mother of the Year", Congrats! My only hope is to buy my way back into the contest by bribing the judges with Shelby Lynn's petifores, (Ehh...who am I kidding? I'll just order some petifores and eat them myself.)
Here are some pictures from last night after we saw the Dr. (Just so you don't worry, Catherine is doing great today. She has in fact dived head first off the couch twice this morning; only to stand up, laugh and do it all over again. So, all is normal in our house again!)