Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Cry Baby Jane

I don't consider myself one of those "emotional" mommies. By emotional, I mean, I'm not a "Cry Baby Jane". I didn't cry when my girls were born (Travis did enough of that for both of us!). I don't cry when they get hurt. I don't cry when they are spending time with grandparents and I miss them.

Today was Emma's first day of 2nd grade. Today was the third "first day of school" that she has had. Today was the third time I've walked her into Walker Elementary School and taken her to her new class. Today was the third time I teared up walking out of her building.

In Kindergarten, I cried for her. She was scared and unsure. I was worried she would go through her whole day with the same fears she had when I walked out of the classroom. I put my sunglasses on before I even left the building to try to disguise the huge tears pouring from my eyes.

In First Grade, I cried for her. She was excited, but a little nervous about the thought of "real" work and no naps. She was sure she could handle it, but the nerves were getting the best of her. I made it out of the building, but lost it in the car. Her nerves were my nerves.

Today, Emma wasn't nervous. She was confident and ready. Emma was excited. Today, I walked her to her class and told her bye. Emma hugged me half-heartedly and walked off with her friends. As I was walking out, my eyes filled with tears. This time, I cried, not for her, but for me.

I walked past the First Grade hall and saw the semi-confident children hugging their mommies and daddies tightly. I couldn't believe that had been us an entire year ago.

I walked past the Kindergarten hall and saw the wide-eyed boys and girls holding hands with their mommies and looking up at them. Those eyes pleading with them not to leave just yet. Two years has past since I had to leave Emma sitting at her desk, tears flowing from her eyes staining the paper she was writing her name on.

So, as I walked out of school today. I cried for "yesterday", the day I took Emma to Kindergarten. But, I also cried for "tomorrow", because "tomorrow" I will take Hannah, then Catherine. Time is passing so quickly and I just want to stop it. I want the girls to stay just how they are right now.

Emma had a great first day of school, as I knew she would. we go...2nd grade has officially begun!

1 comment:

Kari Beth said...

your girls are BEAUTIFUL!