Thursday, September 4, 2008

"Bright and Shiny" or "Dark and Twisty"

I was reading through most of my posts on my blog a few days ago and saw that most everything I post is "bright and shiny". That's usually fitting, because I consider my life to be pretty "bright and shiny". We have the usual problems, but nothing major.

But, do you ever have one of THOSE days? I mean one of the days that seem to push your life out of the "bright and shiny" category directly over to the "dark and twisty" category? (I am a huge Grey's Anatomy fan...thus the reference to bright and shiny/dark and twisty.)

I had one of those days today...and I want my blog to be real...not just to good stuff...but the real life stuff. So, here I am blogging about my "dark and twisty" day.

This day started about 1 am. I heard a noise that sounded like Hannah was out of bed. I looked out into the hall just in time to see her dragging her blankey and heading into the living room. I got up to see what in the WORLD she was doing. I found her standing in the pitch black living room. I called her name and she turned and RAN down the hall. Our hall is not dark since we keep night lights on in case Emma needs to go to the bathroom or in case of nights like this with Hannah. She ran so fast and plowed into my legs...it was like she didn't even see me! It knocked her down and she just laid on the ground. I turned the light on in the hallway and realized SHE WAS SOUND ASLEEP. I scooped her up and put her back in her bed...she never knew anything was going on. Nice way to find out my child is a sleep walker.

It took me forever to fall back asleep and when I did, I had a horrible dream (I will spare you the details). It was so bad, I cried out in my sleep and woke myself up yet again. It was about 5:15 and I decided just to stay up. I rotated some laundry and picked up some stray toys from the night before. I finally got ready and woke everyone else up. As I was putting on my make up, Emma kicked it over and got my powder (loose powder) EVERYWHERE.

About that time, I knew...I just knew...this is a day I should just go back to bed and totally skip. This is a day that is going to be one of THOSE days...a "dark and twisty" day. But, I am a responsible adult and had to go about my day as usual.

We went through our normal morning routine, but it just seemed all the more hectic. Despite the fact that I was up a good 30 to 45 minutes earlier than usual, we were running late.

Travis left a little before the girls and I. I was pulling out of the garage and looked up to see Jack...our wonderful English Pointer...DIGGING IN THE TRASH. I got out of the car in the rain, mind you, and spanked him and put him in the back (since Travis had forgotten to). As I was leaning down to pick up the trash Jack had gotten into, I realize what exactly he was messing with...A POOPIE DIAPER! Really...of all things....YUCK! So, I picked up what I could and ran back inside to wash my hands. At this point we were REALLY late.

I pulled up at Hannah's school to run her in. I walked around to her side of the car and see she had taken her shoes off. Really, Hannah! Was that necessary today!? I just took her in shoeless and left them for her teacher to either put on or put in her cubby...whatever floated her boat!

I dropped Emma off and realize that school schedules were due today. So, in order to avoid a fee, I had to quickly fill one out. I have no idea what I even put on there for the girls next week...that should be a whole different interesting post!

I jumped in the car and off I went. As I got on the by pass, I realized "I NEED GAS!" Oh well, my car can go forever without gas. I will get it on my way home when I am not already 20 minutes late for work.

I got to work and the day proceeded in much the same manner. Retail Link reports not running properly... Conference calls all day....needy customers. You know a day like that! All I was thinking was, "I just need to dig through this day, go home and let Travis deal with the kids tonight so I can recover my from my bad attitude." About 20 minutes, before I left, Travis called. "Boni, I need to work late tonight to finish up this shower." WHATEVER! FINE...I WILL BE SUPPORTIVE BECAUSE YOU WORK SO HARD FOR US.

I sped home from work to pick up the kids. As I was driving down the by pass, I was thinking, "With Travis working late, I am just cooking grilled cheeses. I hope the girls are in a good mood. I wonder if Emma got another green card today?". All of the sudden, my car won't accelerate! What happened!? DANG! I WAS OUT OF GAS...ON THE SIDE OF 540. I pulled on to the shoulder and wanted to kick myself for being an idiot. I started to call Travis and realized he was 45 minutes away WITHOUT traffic and I was sitting in the 5 o'clock rush hour. I called my friend, Cassidie, and she rushed to the rescue. I had to call Sue to pick up the girls, since their mother was on the side of the road for being a dumb dumb and they were going to be left as the "late kids". I wasn't going to have that! THANK YOU CASS AND SUE! I would still be on the side of the road without the two of you!

I got home and cooked the girls grilled cheese. They ate them up. We played and then took a bath. I put Hannah to bed and Emma was coloring. I decided to unwind and do a little blog surfing while Emma was occupied (and I didn't want to fold clothes!). As I was surfing and replaying my "dark and twisty" day in my head, I ran across a blog of someone I had never met and as I was reading, it brought me to tears. It was a mother who had been blogging about her 4 children (much like most of us do) when suddenly and unexpectedly her 4 year old daughter passed away just this past July. The blog journeys this sad time in her life and how her clinging to God or more like God holding on to her has kept her going.

All of the sudden, I felt guilty. How could I be calling my day a "dark and twisty" day? I have my family here with me. My girls are my world and they are here...happy...healthy...wonderful! How petty my issues must seem to God when there are things like this woman was going through all over the world!

Then, I realized, my issues/worries/prayers are not petty to God. They are just as important as anyone elses. He loves me and wants to see me happy and grateful for my blessings. I feel like that's why I found that blog...to show me..."Boni, wake up! That was a bad day...try having a bad day without your 4 year old there." I left a comment on that woman's page, just to let her know how I feel for her and her family. Emma and I will say a prayer for her and her family tonight...and every night.

So, here I am writing (not so eloquently, I might add) this post. I should probably delete it, but I want my loyal readers (GrandDa and Daddy Ben!) to know two things:
  1. My life is not always "bright and shiny". We do have bad days. We do have problems. But most of all, WE DO HAVE EACH OTHER! That in itself makes even my bad days "bright and shiny"
  2. Even when I think that my fears/worries/problems are petty, God is listening. God cares.

Even as I wrote that....it made me happy. It made my day a little more "bright and shiny". That in mind, I am going to color with Emma...I LOVE TO COLOR!

1 comment:

Jim Ed, Amanda and Addison said...

Boo. I hate dark and twisty days. But I have to think that God directed you to that family's blog for a reason. I find myself in a rotten mood for no good reason (though your reasons were pretty darn good!!!), and then suddenly God shines a light on something as if to say, "Wake up, kiddo. Things aren't all that bad." Yeah, God calls me "Kiddo." Hope today is sooo much better for you!